today

Recently, I felt a tinge of sadness. But I can't find the source of my sadness. Work pressure? study stress? or is it due to the departure of a really nice friend today, that I felt my life has sunk into a total emptiness.

Though my pretty lecturer told me that I scored the highest in my class for my grammar analysis at 7pm today, I don't really felt the kind of excitement that I would have felt if I were younger, perhaps. One classmate came to congratulate me, but I just kinda brush it off in an abrupt way. Maybe she will feel that I am being yaya papaya or super HL.

Actually, how long does one need to take in order to forget a significant event or moment in one's life? or rather, erased it totally. 3 years? 5 years? or never? If there is really such a drink like "wang qing shui", wouldn't it be nice to take a sip, and choose to forget selective memories from our memory bank?

Saw from a Singapore version soap opera, u take 3 years to forget someone that you had once loved so madly, and to find another person. 1 and a half year more to go... well, maybe that is crapped. it just depends on who you meet at the right time, right place and with the right mood. And a "clear, healthy" heart in order to "see" him.

My blog, like my mood, is totally messy. I don't know what I am writing. There seemed to be no linking of thinking. Perhaps that is what I am right now. Wanting to explode, but shy to. Wanting to be silent, but unbearable to keep it down. Women are really complicated creatures, emotional creatures.

Everything is hard, struggling so hard, and fighting so hard to achieve something concrete. And yet, it may not even come true.